Oh, No It Won’t!

Sorry Portland, but this is not a clean slate.  Sure, number one pick, a chance at the first  back-to-back rookies of the year since 1974, the chance to instantly be a playoff team, those things are real.  No one is trying to take that away from you. The media is trying to claim this is your chance to make up for that huge shadow that has hung over your heads since 1984, but in the immortal words of that guy on VH1 that several skanks were fighting over, “Don’t believe the hype.”  You still took Bowie over Jordan.  Nothing can ever make up for that.  And no one will ever forget. 

It’s kind of like that kid that shit in the high school pool my freshman year.  He could invent a fuel-free car that runs on happy thoughts and win the Nobel Peace Prize and he’d still be the kid who shit in the pool to any of us that went to high school with him. As a matter of fact, I know any one of us would spit out the following joke when someone told us about his invention… “Really? I would have thought he’d invent a turd-powered car.”  And then that other person would laugh, forget his accomplishment, and remember the loaf floating in the pool. 

Just the fact that the media references it as your chance to make us forget should serve as proof that we haven’t and we won’t.  Every June until the NBA collapses, we will be reminded.  Even if no one speaks it, that thought of I wonder if anyone will pull a Portland is in the back of all our minds as we watch.  I’m sure it’s in mind of your GM, Kevin Pritchard as he tries to make his selection.  And Jordan, now running the show at Charlotte will be there, too.  So, now with the pressure of that horrible 1984 pick already looming over Pritchard’s head, he can look up and see the man responsible for the worst case of draft day regret we can imagine looking right back at him.  Plus, Sam Bowie might be there, too, manning the concession stand at MSG .  I think I need to add “Pritchard’s head explodes from the pressure” to my list of Draft Day Odds.

If you truly want to make everyone forget the Sam Bowie pick, pray that tomorrow, when it’s Seattle turn to make their number 2 pick, GM Sam Presti stands up and says “No thanks, we’ll pass.”  Then maybe we’ll talk about this as the worst draft day decision of all time.  Maybe. 


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