A Sad Day in the NBA

headstone_2b_834a7617101.gif 

Denial is the first stage of grief.  Expect Stern to stay in the first stage for the next several years.

Advertisements

Beckham Mania Runs Wild: People Still Don’t Care About Soccer

As David Beckham makes his American debut, fans flock to snap pictures of him at trendy restaurants and movie premieres.  Just not at soccer matches. 

It appears the Michael Jordan of Soccer isn’t the Michael Jordan of Making People Give a Crap about Soccer. 

At one of his recent public appearances with his wife (who has somehow fooled the world into thinking she’s incredibly hot.), The Finger asked several fans about Beckham and found out that people are more concerned with his present hairstyle and what designer’s clothing him and his wife are sporting than they are concerned about his ball kicking. 

“He plays soccer?” Asks a confused Beckham fan.  “But he’s not a middle school student.”

 

Another well-informed onlooker stated, “Oh, yeah, he came to America to play soccer.  I just hope he can make the transition to the new sport.  I think he played football in England.” 

One fan out of the crowd was very defensive of the exciting sport of soccer, berating the rest of the crowd for only being there as pop culture fans and not fans of the sported packed with such captivating occurrences such as three hour games that end in zero-zero ties and people getting in trouble for touching a ball.  In response to The Fingers representatives laughing at him, this fan ranted, “Oh, you’re just jealous that your precious football and basketball players aren’t tough enough to play a real man’s sport.”

 

Real man’s sport, huh?  Yeah… really looks like it. 

smelly.jpg

soccergrab.jpg 

funny_soccer_2.jpg

soccer_3.jpg

normal_argentinewall.jpg

You know why people streak so many soccer games?  Because something has to happen.  And why have people continued to try to make soccer work here?  One, it’s not going to.  We’ve seen this push how many times?  I couldn’t tell you the name of the local pro team or if there is a local team. Is it maybe the Chicago Sting?  Last I heard, that was the local team.  I couldn’t even tell you the name of the pro soccer league.  And if you tell me right now, tomorrow… still won’t know it.  It’s info that won’t make it past the filters, like workers paging each other at Wal-Mart.  I might hear it, maybe even pay attention for a second, but it’s not significant enough to really register. 

Secondly, it’s not a worthy thing to push for.  Crowd violence is so common in soccer fans is there is a label for the type of fan that likes to start some shit.  One that gets used more often than “soccer fan.”  We don’t need soccer hooligans here.  We do well enough with violence as it is. 

Of course the biggest issue… it’s boring.  No sport should be considered high scoring when there were a total of three scoring plays in three hours. 

So, if you’re the one soccer fan in your town, it’s time to realize you are not going to arm wrestle us into liking a boring sport.  No matter what Beckham’s hair looks like this week.