Preparing for the Kobe Hype

With all the trade rumors flying around about Kobe coming to the Bulls… sorry, as a Bulls fan, I had to take a moment to suppress my gag reflex… anyway, with all these trade rumors, it’s time for the Bulls, as well as some of the other teams in the running to land Bryant, to consider their potential marketing strategies should Kobe come to town. 

The NBA is big on team slogans right now, like the League’s  marketing campaign of “Where Amazing Happens” or the Rocket’s tag line “It’s Time” or the Knicks tagline “At Least We’re Not as Mismanaged as  Minnesota”, so here are a few headlines these teams might want to consider…

The Bulls:

“No More Team Rebuilding, We’ve got a Team Demolition Specialist Now”

“The Bulls:  Now with Way More Unnecessary Drama”

“The Bulls: Now with Way More Rape”

“Kobe; Here to Fill the Gap Left by the Absence of Ditka’s Ego”

“Great, Two Chicago Sports Team with the Curse of the G.O.A.T.”

 

The Nuggets: (Editor’s note… some of these would work without the trade happening)

“No One in Colorado Ever Stops Bryant from Taking It to the Hole.” 

“Shattering Records, Breaking Laws.”

“Smoke A Little Weed, Do a Little Rape, Get Down Tonight”

“We’ll Never Let Kobe Ride Home with J.R.”

“The Nuggets – 14 Felonies and 0 Championships… Both Those Numbers Are About to Go Waaaaaaaaaaaay Up.”

 The Wizards:

“Because In D.C., Everyone’s Willing to Forget Where Your Wang Has Been” 

“And You Thought Arenas Had An Inflated Ego?” 

“Washington, Where the Greats Come to Play When They Are Done Winning”

Advertisements